For Jacom
When we met, I was broken,
Frustrated with hearts being
No more than a token that was
Thrown around and wasted.
I was afraid to fall.
Afraid to trust, afraid to hurt, but all of that
Was nothing compared
To how afraid I was to hurt you.
You came, perfect, smiling
Slipped your love-dagger in so silently I
Didn't know I was dying
You knew just what I needed
You'd wait for cues,
We took it slow
But what I couldn't guess
I'd never know
Is that you'd build my walls
Not break them
Not dispell my fears,
But make them
These walls loom over me
Between me and you
The love that I hoped would be
Keeps getting farther from the truth
With every time that I fall
It gets harder to get up
I want so badly to believe
But these walls are here,
Protecting me
I trusted and I hoped
That you would break my walls down
But you built them up
Bricked up the door I had opened for you
And now you're standing there
Wondering where it went
Because it only took a second for me to change
You didn't realize when your labors were spent
The lights I left
In my windows
They're all blown out
Where did they go?
A cold gust cuts my bones
I feel so alone.
These walls loom over me
Between me and you
The love that I hoped would be
Keeps getting farther from the truth
With every time that I fall
It gets harder to get up
I want so badly to believe
But these walls are here,
Protecting me.
Protecting me.
I'm not one to judge
If the walls are wrong
'Cause they're stronger than
The ground I'm standing on
I push towards you,
And they push back and then
Convince me that
It won't do to love ever again
These walls loom over me
Between me and you
The love that I hoped would be
Keeps getting farther from the truth
With every time that I fall
It gets harder to get up
I want so badly to believe
But these walls are here,
Protecting me.
Protecting me.
From you.
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Jacom
Okay, so this one isn't quite a song/poem yet. It's just a rant with some fun imagery. It'll be a song/poem eventually though.
When I came to you, I was broken. I was afraid to fall, to trust. I was afraid to hurt, but I was even more afraid to hurt you.
You got into my heart slowly, like a dagger, but less painful. We waited a long time. We took it slow. I wasn't sure about you, but you acted so cute; I heard that you liked me, and what girl doesn't get a thrill at that?
I had just decided to let you in, to have faith that love could work even though I didn't really believe it, to try and hold your heart and keep it safe. But just when I was at my weakest, though my weakest was still stronger than most people's strong, I found out about you. I was trusting, and you made me believe. But I didn't know you as well as I thought, and rather than breaking my walls down you built them higher, you bricked in the door I had opened to let you in.
Now you stand outside, wondering where that door went, why the warm candles in my windows had flickered and died, because you didn't realize that you were blowing them out. So I stand in the darkness, unable to make you see what you've done, no light to illuminate it.
I want to let you back in, but the walls warn me against it, they force me to stay in. I'm not as strong as the walls. You didn't do anything very strong in the real world, I should be able to forgive you. But your actions in the real world affected my inside world and the walls aren't as forgiving as I am. Don't blame them, they're just trying to protect me. I am not one to judge if they're wrong or not.
If I wasn't me, I could forgive you. If I hadn't already had walls, there wouldn't be as much for you to climb over now. But even now, you could climb the walls, could make me believe again, by fighting for me. But you won't. You'll get frustrated. You'll be more angry that things didn't work for you than that you damaged me, especially because I don't look hurt. You'll go away angry, and all I'll have to remember you by is a bricked-up door and a short, golden hallway of fading memories.
When I came to you, I was broken. I was afraid to fall, to trust. I was afraid to hurt, but I was even more afraid to hurt you.
You got into my heart slowly, like a dagger, but less painful. We waited a long time. We took it slow. I wasn't sure about you, but you acted so cute; I heard that you liked me, and what girl doesn't get a thrill at that?
I had just decided to let you in, to have faith that love could work even though I didn't really believe it, to try and hold your heart and keep it safe. But just when I was at my weakest, though my weakest was still stronger than most people's strong, I found out about you. I was trusting, and you made me believe. But I didn't know you as well as I thought, and rather than breaking my walls down you built them higher, you bricked in the door I had opened to let you in.
Now you stand outside, wondering where that door went, why the warm candles in my windows had flickered and died, because you didn't realize that you were blowing them out. So I stand in the darkness, unable to make you see what you've done, no light to illuminate it.
I want to let you back in, but the walls warn me against it, they force me to stay in. I'm not as strong as the walls. You didn't do anything very strong in the real world, I should be able to forgive you. But your actions in the real world affected my inside world and the walls aren't as forgiving as I am. Don't blame them, they're just trying to protect me. I am not one to judge if they're wrong or not.
If I wasn't me, I could forgive you. If I hadn't already had walls, there wouldn't be as much for you to climb over now. But even now, you could climb the walls, could make me believe again, by fighting for me. But you won't. You'll get frustrated. You'll be more angry that things didn't work for you than that you damaged me, especially because I don't look hurt. You'll go away angry, and all I'll have to remember you by is a bricked-up door and a short, golden hallway of fading memories.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)